


Queen

by Werbena



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Ian's fantasies, League of the Evil Exes, Loki's diplomacy, Mind Reading, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 00:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3467717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werbena/pseuds/Werbena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A party. Two ex - lovers meet in a temporaty secluded place. They talk, or rather try to, because Cruel Fate has something else in store for them...<br/>...at least it was like that from Ian's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Characters mentioned below are definitely not mine. The plot, however, is my own idea. Story written for pure joy of writing. Not making money from it.

Ian Boothby was standing in the middle of a large staircase, being as close to a heart attack as any healthy man of his age could get. The reason behind his disastrous state was currently at the bottom of said stairs, blissfully unaware of Ian’s predicament and therefore still giving him a chance to make a run for it and hide behind a column. Or a stone balustrade, whichever came first. Or maybe even to sprint upstairs and…

‘Oh, hi there.’ No more bets, the calamity acknowledged him.

‘Hi. Hi, Darcy. Good evening.’ Against his better judgment he didn’t move, mesmerized by her current looks. The last time, if he recalled correctly, she was wearing those semi – decent, shabby sweaters and awkward hats but this night…

_…emerald green was definitely Darcy’s colour, the cut of the dress perfectly emphasized all enticing curves and her brown hair seemed to be almost flowing around, in long, soft cascades just like when…_

**Why again did they break up?**

Oh wait. They didn’t. She dumped him.

Even his enemies (were there any?) would admit that pathetic attempts to ignore the facts weren’t among Ian’s numerous flaws.

‘Up or down?’ Darcy asked calmly, stopping on the very step where Ian apparently got turned into a living statue. Probably made of clay, definitely witless statue but still able to use at least one of the senses.

She changed her perfumes. He couldn’t decide which fragrance was more heavenly, this or the previous one.

‘Earth to Ian. Have you developed a habit of sleepwalking? In that case, I’m going to be completely civilized and post only good pics on facebook.’

‘I was… rather…’ Boothby stumbled, trying not to imagine pretty Darcy as villainous though remarkably sexy Queen of The League of The Evil Exes (and he still claimed he didn’t see the movie, so get over it) ‘Well, as a matter of fact, I was thinking about maybe trying to get into VIP ballroom and, you know, rub the elbows with the finest. They say it can’t harm one’s career to do so.’

She gave him a puzzled look.

‘You know that Happy is probably somewhere near the door? As in Harold Happy Hogan, former boxer and present personal bodyguard to Pepper? You don’t want to try to waltz pass him. Avengers are there too and no matter how annoying Tony Stark is on daily basis, his one magic spell is going to send a posse of angry super heroes on whoever is alternatively intelligent enough to try something funny there…’

She carried on, deadpan delivery as always, but he was too deep in his own thoughts to listen.

_It would be so much easier if it was a movie and she was the Queen of The League of The Evil Exes or Sinister Association or other similar group, he fantasized, starting to feel a rather vast plethora of emotions. There was certainly some swoon – inducing panic and something resembling hope and… lust._

Darcy spared a glance to the top of the stairs, but was still talking so Ian could dream on, lulled by the melody of her voice and soothing rhythm of her cleavage moving slightly up and down, which he observed with all the scientific curiosity he could muster. Maybe his ex – girlfriend hid her, ehem, assets due to some bizarre lost bet? The world would be so much better place if she stack to deeper decolletages…

_If they were in a movie, an accidental meeting during one of the famous Tony Stark’s parties would lead either to some sort of passionate reunion, beginning on the nearest flat surface behind closed doors or to a semi – public, angry scene of equally epic proportions._

_And everybody, literally everybody, would sympathize with him and understood the magnitude of his emotional reaction. Especially, if they knew his side of the story._

‘…also count on him to break a bone or two…’ Ian couldn’t recall for his life if she had always used this shade of lipstick, but by Gods, her lips were now a weapon of mass hypnosis. What? Did SHE mentioned the break – up? Maybe they were going somewhere after all.

_The break – up. THE break up._

_Rather awkward event, he had to admit, but after a thing they had shared it would have been stupid to expect anything less… Darcy – like._

_To be completely frank, he was probably the first to start doubting. The girl’s overwhelming personality, her little quirks, her ability to remain completely relaxed in almost every situation… Inside jokes, awkward clothes, occasional crude remarks and so much more, that trying to recall it all on the spot would definitely end up with a serious headache._

_And Thor, Doctor Foster’s boyfriend, who considered loudmouthed, petite Darcy his most dear little sister whom he never had. Surprising how natural his shovel talk was and how much it had scared Ian._

_That (and the hammer) were the main reasons why Boothby wasn’t the first one to break up. But it didn’t hurt any less when the proverbial shoe was dropped…_

Ian tried to overcome the rush of half – forgotten memories because something tall, dark and scary suddenly appeared between himself and Darcy.

‘Missed me already, Cupcake?’ Boothby could only watch in horror as his ex – girlfriend kissed a cheek of pale and not so much amused Asgardian prince.

‘Stark was getting on my nerves, so I decided to look for better company.’ Loki Laufeyson, probably a.k.a The Blue Death to each and every one of Darcy’s old flames, looked at Ian with mild interest. Like he was taking measurements for a coffin. Or a burial ship. ‘And who may be the person postponing your return to my side?’

‘Ian Boothby. The London intern.’ She added, when the name didn’t seem to ring any bells.

‘Pleased to make the acquaintance.’ He managed to say it without trembling in his voice.

‘Ah.’ Loki made a perfect imitation of a gentleman who was being presented with a particularly disgusting bug by his beloved niece. ‘My dear, I believe it is time for us to depart. Stark is surely finishing his customary speech and I’m looking forward to the part of the party untainted by his antics. Mr. Boothby.’ Loki nodded, but maybe it was just adjusting the collar of his cosmic – posh – disturbingly Viking outfit.

He offered Darcy his arm and they gracefully went upstairs.

‘Bye, Ian.’ She managed to say, giving one last glimpse to ex – intern.

_Leaving his life for good._

_Was there some hope? Some subtle innuendo about Loki flying away to whatever planet he originated from and giving space to a second chance of…_

‘If you so much as try to finish this delusive statement of yours, tomorrow’s headlines will be full of one stone – cold, blue and rigid corpse, provided there is someone in this realm capable of finding the aforementioned at the bottom of the ocean.’ Loki’s voice was low, dangerous and so ridiculously courteous that Ian first took it for the figment of his own, overactive imagination. Because there was no way in hell that evil – girlfriend stealing bastard was able to be in two places at the same time, was there?…

_Oh bloody, bloody hell._

‘Yes, I see we are reaching some understanding. Better late than never. Do yourself a favour and carry on with your previous ideas. Scientific career, giving lectures at universities and so on. It would be so much better for all parties involved.’ Frightfully polite smile finished the short expose.

Ian swallowed, not sure if calling Darcy for help slash seeing with her very own eyes who she got stuck with would be the best policy.

And then the miracle happened! She stopped and turned!

Though from his perspective, her facial expression left much to be desired.

‘Ian, for the love of Meow – Meow, stop torturing yourself over quantum universes, because only in an alternative, Lokiless reality you could be dreaming about us getting back together. And dreaming is the key word here, mind you. We gave it a go, it didn’t work out, we split. End of story. So get over it and find yourself a proper, ladylike girlfriend you’ve always wanted. Or a boyfriend, I’m not judging. I wish you all the best, but I’m not unbanning you from my facebook, because your comments under our old photos crept me out.’

Ian really wanted to respond, especially to the boyfriend suggestion, but he found himself utterly lacking words.

Loki, on the other hand, was so royally proud he should be giving hints to kings all over the world, including ancient and long deceased ones.

‘My love, you should be the Queen of The League of The Evil Exes after all. Just one, small detail… Allow me… There. A perfect crown for the perfect queen.’ Loki gently placed an extravagantly ornamental piece of jewelry on Darcy’s hair. Golden lines and emeralds perfectly matched not only her dress but also his garb.

_How suiting._

‘Oh, thank you, hon. You shouldn’t have. Wait… You want to tell me he really thought it? It wasn’t your brand of mockery, these lines in my head?’ she looked at Boothby, who was whiter than marble steps of the staircase ‘Ian, that was so uncalled for. I’m totally disappointed in your idea of theatrics and selecting labels not even close to my… Ian?’

‘I am afraid that Mr. Boothby fainted, my dear. Consider it the first tribute to your new title.’

‘Should we call someone?’

‘Already taken care of. Rogers was kind enough not to ignore my kind, telepathic request. Which can’t be said for Tony, who is so preoccupied with removing Pepper’s…’

‘I think I’ve had enough intrusions of somebody else’s privacy for one evening. Still want that dance on the terrace?’ They resumed walking up.

‘By all means. Tell me one thing though. What was supposed to be Stark’s spell?’

‘Avengers assemble, of course.’

‘Of course. Do you think he would appreciate a minor jest of projecting the spell to the team and have them in his not – so – secluded space in approximately ten seconds?’


End file.
